Recently I went through what felt like a dry season. There was so much happening, so many changes and it was as if God went silent through it all. During this time I made one of the biggest mistakes- I agreed with my lust and acted on it. It ate at me. And it seemed like no matter how much I prayed and cried, God remained silent. I didn't know if I was even feeling Him anymore. Did I go too far this time? I thought. Maybe it was too much and just cannot be forgiven. These were the lies that no one but the devil and my own guilty conscience was feeding my mind and heart and I was almost inclined to believe it.

You see, what I failed to remember was that these seemingly dry seasons were my wilderness, where God allows me to be tested and tried just like Jesus in St. Matthew 4:1-11. The truth is, God was there all along. He never left me. He just sat there, like any good teacher when they are giving a test because He wanted me to draw on and use the influence that He had made in my heart. He wanted to prove to principalities and powers and quite frankly me, the power that lies within His Sons. It is during these silent seasons that He wants us to be even the more confident in who we are and choose to obey Him in all things and in every trial and test.

Deep in my heart, I knew God didn’t put me in this situation to fail, even though I did. I was sent here to be light and to prove the power of my God within me, but fear and wantonness caused me to lose sight of that.

I thank God for being such a merciful God. He gave me another chance and I got to do what He sent me here to do. I want to encourage someone out there who may be in a similar situation. You feel like God has gone silent on you, you feel your prayers are going unheard and you may even feel like God has left you. But believe me that this is far from the truth. If you are really a Son of God, then He promised in His word that He will never leave nor forsake you (Heb. 13:5). Consider then that this may be your wilderness. Your time of trying so that God can make you and you can prove to principalities and powers His manifold wisdom by way of your obedience to Him.

I write to you so that you won’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t sink in self-pity or depression, instead, trust God, love and obey Him and pray without ceasing. And know that this too shall pass and it will be alright.

I love you,

Mo.